roses

i'm not one for burning images
tearing up photographs and
tossing them in the garbage

i like to preserve and document
i live to scan every photo, write every word
document every single damn moment

maybe it's because my sun is in cancer
maybe it's because i'm a millenial
or perhaps i am just a nostalgic girl

we aren't friends any more
you and i stopped sharing laughs and snacks
a while ago we halted but i'm here

i don't want you back in my life, no
but if you think for a second that the video
of dinosaur chicken nuggets being arranged by you

would get deleted? no
i still have the printed photos from my 25th birthday
when you bought me chinese food and smiled

i have happy memories too
of things that are still untainted by the mess
of ending a friendship and criticism never heard

the time we went to a diner,
there were so many times he and i walked into diners
i always order more food than i can eat.

i'm still here to get better
i still fight to preserve everything but myself
i still care about you though i do not want to see you